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  1. #1
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    Aoa . I am new in forum . I will require assistance . thanks

    Plz check my essay intro and comment.
    Title: gender discrimination against women in Pakista .

    Thesis statement: the prevailing socioeconomic disparities coupled with stereotype political conception has made gender discrimination a hard hit reality with far-reaching consequences , despite various declarations and steps, which need serious measures.

    Introduction:

    The concept of gender discrimination against women refers to deprivation of women against from their due rights and privileges as compared to men counterparts of the society. This concept also widely prevails in Pakistan. Women in Pakistan are fallen prey of disparity at political social and economic fronts . they lack political and economic participation. In addition, social barriers have widened the gap . various factors I.e feudalistic mind set , patriarchy in society , religious and cultural barriers are responsible for this unfortunate reality which has negative impact on economic growth, literacy, social evolution and image building of the country. However, by empowerment of women in all walks of life and projection of women friendly projects, the gulf of discrimination can be narrowed down . yet , the prevailing socioeconomic disparities coupled with stereotypes political conceptions has made gender discrimination against women in Pakistan a hard hit reality with far-reaching consequences despite various declarations and steps , which need serious counter measures.

  2. #2
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    You are welcome in this forum.

    Try to compose simple, short and compact sentences. Simplify your expression as much as you can.

    Your thesis statement can be rephrased as:

    The prevailing socioeconomic disparities between men and women coupled with commonly-held traditional political notions have made gender discrimination an awful reality. Despite various declarations and steps, there persists an unjust gulf between men and women with far-reaching consequences for the state and society.

    Introduction

    The concept of gender discrimination refers to discrimination on the basis of a person's gender or sex which generally affects girls and women. The gender discrimination widely prevails in Pakistan which deprives women from their due rights and privileges as compared to their male counterparts in the society. Women in Pakistan more often fall prey to gender disparity at various political, social and economic levels. They lack opportunities to participate in political and economic activities. In addition, many social barriers have further widened the gap. Various factors like feudalistic mindset and patriarchy hamper women from utilizing their potential which has negatively impacted the country’s economy, education, and image. The panacea lies in narrowing down the gulf of discrimination, between males and females, by empowering women in all walks of life and initiating women-friendly projects. Though there have been some serious and concerted efforts to elevate the status of women in the society, yet women continue to experience systemic gender subordination. The prevailing socioeconomic disparities between men and women coupled with commonly-held traditional political notions have made gender discrimination an awful reality. Despite various declarations and steps, there persists an unjust gulf between men and women with far-reaching consequences for the state and society.


    Hope it will help you.
    "A JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP"

  3. #3
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    i am greatly thankful for your fruitful gudiance . hope for your assistance in future. thanks a lot

  4. #4
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    The prevailing socioeconomic disparities between men and women coupled with commonly-held traditional political notions have made gender discrimination an awful reality. Despite various declarations and steps, there persists an unjust gulf between men and women with far-reaching consequences for the state and society.
    This thesis statement looks impressive.

  5. #5
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    Aoa kindly analyze my intro with precious comments. Thanks

    Topic : world as a global village: Learning to live together


    Thesis statement:
    the phenomenon of globalization and technological advancement has made the world a global village , where projection of peaceful coexistence is eminent.


    Intro.

    The phenomenon of globalization and technological advancement has made the world a global village, where projection of peaceful coexistence is eminent. In this modern era of science and technology people living in different corners of the world can communicate to one another within seconds. Similarly, with the avedent of internet and high-tech devices the inter-state connectivity has got extraordinary progress and theoretical distance among individuals have shrinked. Furthermore, the liberalization of social, political and economic cannons and concepts have formed almost a uniform concensus of opinion across the globe . in addition, free flow of information via mass media and world public opinion has contributed to the global integration. The agenda of collective security and climate has further brougt the world community at a common point. However, various factors like terrorism , arms race , inter-state rivalries are hurdels in the way of peaceful coexistence. Nevertheless, through effective measures like solving inter-state rivalries and disputes the concept of living together in a global village can be ensured .

  6. #6
    The phenomenon of globalization and technological advancement has made the world a global village, where projection of peaceful coexistence is eminent. In this modern era of science and technology people living in different corners of the world can communicate to one another within seconds. Similarly, with the avedent of internet and high-tech devices the inter-state connectivity has got extraordinary progress and theoretical distance among individuals have shrinked. Furthermore, the liberalization of social, political and economic cannons and concepts have formed almost a uniform concensus of opinion across the globe . in addition, free flow of information via mass media and world public opinion has contributed to the global integration. The agenda of collective security and climate has further brougt the world community at a common point. However, various factors like terrorism , arms race , inter-state rivalries are hurdels in the way of peaceful coexistence. Nevertheless, through effective measures like solving inter-state rivalries and disputes the concept of living together in a global village can be ensured .
    Good effort though, however, the point here is that your introduction is too generalized and altogether filled with cliches. It tastes rather monotonous. It seems as if you are trying to explain the concept of globalisation and its various manifestations.

    The difficulties and disputes that globalisation has generated should constitute more than just the last two lines of your passage.
    You are born with nothing but you will die with a name, and this name just not be a word, it should be a HISTORY...

  7. #7
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    I am thankful for your precious analysis and suggestions. Hope for assistance in future. Thanks a lot .

  8. #8
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    Aoa , respected seniors kindly evaluate my Essay attempt for CSS 2017 .

    Essay: is colonial mentality impeding pak progress?

    Thesis statement: Pakistan remained under influence of colonial mind set since its day of inception. The military-bureaucracy dominanac, coupled with judiciary based on outdated laws-- has a negative impact on the sociopolitical and economic progress of the country.

    Outline:
    1-introduction
    2-Factors highlighting colonial mentality in Pakistan .
    A. Military dominance in apparent and latent contexts .
    B. Bureaucratic oligarchy
    C. Double standard in education system.
    D.psychology impact of English language.
    E. Prevalence of laws of colonial era I.e FCR in FATA.
    F. Cultural influences
    G. Economic policies of colonial mind set

    3- Impacts on progress of the country.
    A. Weak democratic values and culture .
    B. Delay in justice due to outdated and formalistic judicial structure.
    C. Low education standard
    D. Low Economic gorowth .
    E. Deteriorating law and order situation due to FATA , as safe havens for terrorists
    E. Class divisions in society.
    F. Negative impact on progress of Urdu language.
    G.

    Suggestions to change colonial mentality.

    1. To strength democratic system.
    2. Supremacy of the constitution
    3. Institution equilibrium
    4. Remorms in judicial system
    5. Reforms in economic policies.
    6. Uniform educational system
    7. Economic reforms
    8 FATA reforms
    9. Implantation of Urdu as official language.

    Conclusion

 

 

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